Pre-season friendlies are at least a fun way to get a glimpse of new players, though the games tend to be about as competitive as non-league Lacrosse (“0-0 Again: Game Too Hard, Say Experts”). It’s easy to get carried away because a youth team player you’ve heard of did well against a side three divisions below you who were playing youth team players people similar to you have heard of and subsequently got carried away about. Despite this they’re really putting me in the mood for the domestic season after the shiny mindfuck that was the World Cup.

The new kits are out too, along with some sponsors that’ll take some getting used to. Liverpool are now sponsored by something called Standard Chartered, which sounds so non-descript it’s almost certainly a front for something sinister. Spurs will now be running around with “Autonomy” emblazoned on their chests, suggesting that they plan to win the title by forming a breakaway league of one and declaring themselves champions. Meanwhile, in West London Fulham’s new kit looks like the title page of a corporate power point presentation.

Because of the lack of action the weird things that constantly go on in football suddenly become major news stories. There’s the countrywide crackdown on vuvuzelas as chairmen everywhere worry that they’ll ruin the atmosphere of the Premier League, robbing us of classic, tasteful chants such as those about Sol Campbell, the Munich air crash and what Victoria Beckham will allow into her anus. There’s the Paraguayan player who’s been banned for 27 games for essentially trying to put a referee in a sleeper hold in the Chilean second division. A bold move that was never likely to work. Then of course there’s Sepp Blatter having his middle name listed on a South African governmental website as “bellend”, a mistake that seemingly happened as a result of somebody having copied and pasted his name from Wikipedia, a terrifying indication that it’s become sentient.

In a way it’s actually enjoyable; amongst fans of many clubs there’s a tone of optimism as they day dream about what the season might hold. Blackpool fans will be hoping they can emulate sides such as Wigan and Reading by overachieving when being written off. Man City fans must understandably feel like a kid on the eve of a 10 month Christmas. Even your typical Liverpool fan may well be gazing out at a nearby fjord and thinking: “With Joe Cole and our new underworld backers we are assured for the Premier League win, still a shame we sold John Arne Riise...” 

It can’t work out for everybody though, which is a good thing as that would be rubbish. I’m sure things will look like they’re going to well for Arsenal, making me think that we’re finally capable of winning something again before Robin Van Persie fractures his hamstring and it all takes a familiar turn.

As an Arsenal fan I’m of course in no position to complain - though I will because I enjoy it – but given the standards each clubs sets and the unpredictability of football you’re never safe in the knowledge that everything will be OK, whoever you support. Anything could happen – Ian Holloway might accidentally sack himself, Kevin Keegan might come back again, Joey Barton might become adequate enough to get back in the England squad – this unpredictability is what makes football such an addictive sport to love, and whatever aspirations I have for my club, that’s what I’m really looking forward to.

Follow Jim here: www.twitter.com/JimCampbellTFR